Noticing that the suit next to him at the bar has been sitting and staring at his drink for about half an hour, Skeeter decides to stir things up a little. He grabs the man’s drink and swallows it in one gulp. This makes the sad sack suit burst out in tears.
"Come on, man,” says Skeeter, giving him a friendly slap on the back, “I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
Choking back sobs, the suit says, "No, it's not that. It’s just this day is the worst of my life. First, go to my office and find out we’re shutting down for good, immediately. When I leave the building to go to my car, it’s been stolen. The police said that they couldn’t do anything about it. I take a cab home and remember my wallet with all my money and credit cards were in the car. When I explain this to the cab driver, he grabs me by the collar and throws me onto the street."
“Hey, man,” says Skeeter kindly, “that could happen to anybody.”
"That’s not all,” replies the suit. “I walk into my house and my dog is lying dead on the floor. I run upstairs to ask my wife what happened and she’s screwing my brother in our bed. So I leave and come here. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

Dusty and Rusty are in dead-ends jobs. They decide they need to get some schooling to get anywhere in life. So they ride to the local community college and stroll into the counselor’s office.
The counselor waves Dusty in first, and after asking him a few questions about what he wants to do career-wise, tells him he needs to takes courses in math, engineering, and logic.
"What's logic?" Dusty asks.
"I’ll give you an example,” the counselor replies.” Do you own a lawn mower?"
"Yup.”
"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," the counselor replies.
"That's true,” said Dusty.
The counselor continued, "Logic suggests that since you have a yard, you also own a house."
Impressed, the Dusty says, "Amazing!"
"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you probably have a wife."
"Crystal! This is incredible." Dusty was catching on.
"So, since you have a wife,” the counselor concludes, “I can logically I can assume that you are heterosexual.”
"No question! Why that's the most fascinating analysis I ever heard! I can't wait to take that logic class!"
Dusty was excited about the possibilities of learning logic, and walked back into the hallway where his bro was still waiting.
"So what classes are ya takin'?" asked Rusty.
"Math, engineering, and logic!" replies Dusty.
"What in the hell is a logic class gonna teach ya'?" asks Rusty.
"I’ll give you an example,” says Dusty, full of new knowledge. “Do you own a lawn mower?"
"Nope," answers Rusty.
"You're queer, ain't you?"

Gertie and Gus Greybeard were lying in bed, when Gertie turned to her ol’ man and sweetly said, "You know, honey, without your glasses, you look like the same handsome young man I married."
"Shit," said Gus, farting and turning over, "Without my glasses, you still look pretty good too!"

Tank meets a chick at the bar. After several beers and tequila shots, they start making out and seeing his chance, he plops her on the back of his bike and takes her to his place. Soon they’re making on his bed. After a couple of minutes, he stands up and starts to undress.
After he takes his t-shirt off, he pumps his muscular biceps and says, "See that, baby? That's a 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She begins to drool.
Then Tank drops his pants, starts flexing his thigh muscles and says, "See those, baby? That's another 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She’s aching for it now.
Finally, he drops his underwear, and after a quick glance, the chick grabs her purse and runs screaming out the front door.
Tank catches her on the sidewalk and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go, baby?"
She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!”

Sexy Sadie has had a sore throat for a week, so she goes to see the doc.
She is ushered into an examining room. “Have a seat in this chair and the doctor will be right in,” says the nurse.
So Sadie sits down and soon the sawbones comes in.
He approaches her and says, "Okay, open wide."
"I can't, Doc," replies Sadie. "This chair's got arms."

Handy Dan picked up his brand new Sporty and took a nice, long ride. Then, cuz he wanted to celebrating his purchase, he rode over to bimbo Bambi’s house for little rockin’ and rollin’. He parked in front of her apartment, went upstairs, and proceeded to jump her bones like a sailor on shore leave.
When he was done, he rolled offa’ her fell sound asleep.
Ten minutes later he awakens to screaming. “Danny! Danny! Somebody rolled your bike away!”
“Shit, Bambi,” said Handy Dan as he jumped into his jeans, “did ya' try and stop ‘em?”
"No," she answered. "I did better than that! I got the license plate number!"

Richard Rub and his wife were riding their new bike to the country club. Seeing a small mom and pop gas station ahead and knowing he was low on fuel, Richard decided to pull over and fill up.
"What can I do for y'all?" asked the attendant. "Fill her up, my good man," Richard said. While the attendant is filling the tank, he's looking the bike up and down. "What kinda motorsickle is this?" he asks. "I ain’t never seen one like it before."
"Well," responds Richard, his chest swelling up with pride, "this is a 2010 CVO Ultra Classic Electra Glide."
"What all's it loaded with?" asks the attendant.
“Absolutely everything. Cruise control, heated hand-grips, security system, anti-lock brakes, adjustable wind deflectors, and an 80-watt 4-speaker Harmon/Kardon stereo system, complete with CD/MP3 player, a CB and intercom ability.”
"Wow," says the attendant, "that's really something!"
"Yes, it is,” replied Richard, anxious to make his tee time at the country club. “Now let me pay you so we can continue on our way.” As he pulls money from his pocket, there are a few golf tees mixed in with the cash.
"What’re those little wooden things?" asks the attendant.
"That's what I put my balls on when I drive," said Richard.
“Damn,” the attendant said, "those Harley people think of everything!"